The story of Jacob & Esau makes me sad.

I'm sad that these brothers struggled with each other even from the womb.

I'm saddened that their father favored one of them and their mother favored the other.

I'm saddened that Jacob sought to fulfill his destiny by means of deceit.

I'm saddened that Esau did not recognize the responsibility of his privilege, nor the spiritual impact of his natural actions.

I'm saddened that their mother connived to ensure her favored son would receive a blessing.

I'm saddened that Jacob lied to his father in order to receive it.

I'm saddened that a son would even have to lie in order to be blessed by his father.

I'm saddened that their father only had one blessing to give, and i'm saddened by Esau's grievous loss.

I read this story, closed the book, sat back and thought, "Where's the beauty? Where's the redemption? Where's the grace?"

It occurred to me that Esau really wasn't ready for the responsibility of his privilege.

Privilege comes with responsibility. The blessing of the first born was to be steward of all the family's resources and "master" of all the family members. A good master is a servant of all. He lays aside his own interests and uses his authority to ensure others are cared for. When i read into the descriptions of Esau, i see a man who is absorbed in his own interests. He's got his hunting hobby, he's got his trophy wives. He expects others to take care of him (think lentil stew.) He doesn't regard the standards of his family or their God (think foreign wives.) I'm even saddened that this bro felt he needed more than one wife. To take such an intimate relationship and divide it up like that. I really don't think this guy was ready to steward all the resources of his family and be the servant leader ensuring everyone was well cared for.

At the same time, i don't think Jacob was ready either. Clearly, the guy has smarts, favor, blessing on his life. God has been prospering him, and he knows how to be successful. Surely, these gifts would come in handy when leading a large family. But he's so immature. He thinks he needs to manipulate people and situations in order to fulfill his calling. He's a supplanter, one who strives with men in order to get ahead. Lest we think that God is ok with this, let's remember that Jake gets a name change a little later in the story. His identity is changed from "I win!" to "God wins."

There is beauty. There is redemption and there is grace; but, the part of the story i'm stuck on right now is paved with such saddness.

Let's pray for the maturity to embrace the responsibility of our privilege.

May we recognize the spiritual implications of our natural decisions.

And, dear God, change us from an "I win!" identity to a "God wins" one.