it was a really good prayer meeting. those can be rare. this one was without agenda, open, available to the Holy Spirit. There was room to be quiet, to listen and to respond; to voice things in God's presence: some requests, some simply statements. A phrase occurred to me in the silence: ability can be the enemy.

it comes as no surprise since this has been on my mind. i am able to do many things; many things that make people happy. However, the things i am able to do are not always the things i am called to do. I've shared on this subject before. I can't get away from it. Why am i so hung up on such things? Because i know i must fight for my life in God every day, relentlessly. It's a given gift, a deal sealed: yes, but, everything of this age seeks to steal the joy of it while i walk this dirt. I hope you're aware of that. It's true for you too.

I have observed the behavior of my heart. Granted, my view is skewed. I am handicapped in my ability to evaluate my own inner workings. I have noticed though, that as i engage in things i am able, yet not specifically called to do, my heart withers. It's a slow process. At first, the shrinkage seems minor and perhaps even worth it, because others seem to benefit from my ability. It could be viewed as an honorable self-sacrifice. As my heart continues to shrink so does my joy and desire to serve, my peace and my passion.

ability can be the enemy.

My friend, unaware of my unspoken thoughts, began to pray and speak aloud over me. He made reference to the temptation of Christ, when the devil came to Him after 40 days of fasting and said,

"“If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”

Now, was Jesus able to turn dirty rocks into delicious, nutritious bread? You better believe it! He is God, after all. The enemy was surely aware of Christ's ability. What's wrong with acting according to one's ability? Well, nothing, i guess, except that the Father was not calling Jesus to use His ability to turn those rocks into bread at that moment. And Jesus answered and said,

"“It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.’”

Jesus so clearly states what gives us life and what, therefore, we ought to live on: the word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Father.

The word "proceeds" suggests a flowing like a river. What an excellent description of how the Father's word comes to us. The river of His word is always present, always full of fresh, flowing water. Because it is fresh and flowing, it is not the same exact water molecules flowing to us every day. It's not the stagnant pond of God's word, it's the flowing river. I'm not suggesting that His word changes. I am saying that His word has something fresh and specific to say to us every moment. Jesus lives on that word. We live on that word.

The Father's word is flowing to me. Day by day He is urging me and counseling me along a certain path. Daily i am presented with opportunities to take just the slightest detour off the path, and walk parallel for awhile, using my abilities to do things that are closely related to the things i know i am called to do. Often these little diversions "help" others, at least in the natural... but, am i walking the Father's path?

I've spent a few days in what i can only assume to be the "dead center" of the Father's path for me. The things i have done have been risky, i'm not always sure people will respond favorably, but i gotta say, that fresh bread is addicting. Ultimately, i've observed (in my own imperfect way) that others benefit the most when i am doing precisely what the Father calls me to, rather than what i am simply able to. "Benefit" takes different forms. Sometimes we benefit most from having our bubbles burst. Sometimes we benefit most from being gently comforted. I know i experience both of these regularly as i follow the Father's path. He pops my bubbles, man. And He dries my tears. And my heart is so alive as i walk dead center with Him.

i use a lot of "i" statements, i know. it's because i hesitate to presume to speak for you. the only one i really have authority to speak for is myself. If this were all for me i could just write it in a private journal and lock it away at home, but i feel compelled (by the Father) to air my heart in your presence for the chance to encourage you. i pray you are incited to fight for your life in God. i pray you are convinced that the powers of this world want nothing more than to disable you by confining you to your own abilities, robbing you of your rightful bread: the Father's ever flowing word. i pray you would seek center-path today and find the joy of having your heart alive right where you are called to be.