peopleonahill - the ministry of ryan internicola

still here

Tue, 15 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Hi! Just wanted to let you know that i still exist.We had a big communications push to get people voting "ryan i" in the LIFEST Talent search. It worked! I made it in the top 8 artists. To my understanding, those top 8 will be performing live at LIFEST in Oshkosh, WI this July. I haven't heard from the event planners yet, but we're pretty pumped.We've also be blasting info about the new album which we'll begin tracking in June.I kinda thought people might be sick of hearing from me, cuz, we'll... I was sick of hearing from me!But, i'm still here.We're making progress towards our album funding goals. You should click on the "NEW ALBUM" tab and download the free song, check out the cool rewards and look at the neato-funding-thermometer thingy to see how we're doing! Over 50% funded with 25 days till recording begins.I'll admit: i'm tired and kinda overwhelmed by all that's been going on! Not only are things jumping for music and ministry, but home life has been full as well. The month of May is crazy for the Internicolas: we have 2 children's birthdays, mother's day and our anniversary. That's a lot of expectation to do spectacular things! We're also in a bit of housing limbo: we may have to find a new house, we may be able to stay in ours. We've tried a number of times to get a loan to buy our house, but the music & ministry income just isn't very impressive on paper! Prayers are appreciated. Speaking of prayer, say one for Sooz. Her skin is really bothering her. She been dealing with this thing kinda like eczema, doing all sorts of natural, dietary, supplimentary stuff, with very limited results.It's stressful. Even though there are so many good things happening.We're in a pressed-but-not-crushed kinda place right now. That happens. It's part of the package. Grace is sufficient and we're very grateful for how grace comes to us through the people in our lives.I revisited that "cast all your cares upon the Lord, because He cares for you" verse today. Time to do some care-casting. The word for "care" can mean "distraction". The word for "cast" means "throw". The word for "all" means "all"! or "the whole, thoroughly". I asked Sooz, "So, if i cast my care on the Lord, does that mean i don't care anymore?" We had an interesting discussion. Care to weigh in?I'm asking myself these questions right now:What am i being distracted BY?What am i being distracted FROM?I'd like to illiminate the things i'm being distracted by and be immersed in the things i've been distracted from. Love to you.

forget everything

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500

"I want a heart like a childi want to forget everything i've learnedoh, blessed turnaround and return"This is the chorus to my song "Blessed Turnaround" which will appear on my upcoming album. This is such a central prayer of my heart. I'm on a mission to forget. I've learned many helpful things from many smart people. I've also learned some harmful things from misguided or ill-intentioned people. Now i want to forget it all, and grow down to a place of knowing.Great musicians will tell you that it is so important to study technique and theory. And then, you must forget all of the technique and theory. You must feel. You must play. You must go beyond knowing about music; you must know music. When i am learning a song, i am immersed in what i am playing. When i have mastered a song, i forget what i am playing, and i just play it.Jesus reminded me today of His command, "...learn from Me..."There are many smart people with good things to say about God. Those people are those people. Jesus is Jesus. He said "...learn from Me..." It's okay to learn about Jesus through other people, but it cannot take the place of learning about Jesus from Jesus. No one can teach you Jesus like Jesus.Remember, He is a real person with a real mind, a real personality, a real voice and teaching style. He actually exists and He actually knows and loves you and is actually sitting right next to you right now (Spiritually speaking.) He is actually interested in having actual conversations with you and He actually has the ability to communicate with you.When you're done reading this, and you turn towards the Man sitting next to you, forget everything you've learned. If it's true, it will stand up in the light of the person Who is Truth. If it's not, it will burn anyways. Let Jesus tell you some things about Jesus. Learn from Him.

are you messed-up enough for worship?

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500

After the "Vulnerable in Prayer" conference in Grafton, WI, we headed straight for Sheboygan on beautiful Lake Michigan. I already described our experience seeing the lake in it's oceanic vastness. We would have two events at Bethany Church during the trip: The saturday night service and a Monday night Celebrate Recovery group.On saturday night we encountered such sweet people. We had a sound man who likes it loud: every musician's dream! My teammates were a little taken aback by the way some of the folks expressed their worship: sitting very quietly with no apparent expression at all! I am used to this from worshipping with many different groups and living among communities with different expressions. I have come to appreciate and enjoy these differences. There was one man in particular that my teammates noticed. He seemed to them to be very upset: sitting with arms folded and brow furrowed. After the gathering, the man pulled one of the guys aside and told him how much he enjoyed our ministry and spent a good time encouraging us!The question in worship is not, "Do you move around enough?" It's, "Are you desperate enough?"On Monday night we returned to Bethany to gather with the Celebrate Recovery group. In case you are not familiar with CR, it is a group aiming to help people overcome hurts, habits and hang-ups. As folks wandered in, i could sense the room filling with people Jesus really likes! As we took the stage, there was this energy in the air; and as we began to lead, that energy exploded.It didn't come in the form of wild flailing or loud singing or shouting and clapping. It was desperation. There was such a pooled awareness of our need for God, and God is irresistibly attracted to that!It was one of the most powerful times of worship i have been part of, and as i reflected on it, i remembered some things Jesus said,"It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick."and,"For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”These are troublesome little sayings. They raise irritating little questions, likeIs there really anyone who is well?Are they actually people who have little to be forgiven???Personally, i don't believe these people groups exist. i believe all have fallen short. all of us are sick. i believe all sin was created equal.If i'm right, then, what separates these groups that Jesus calls "sick" and "well", "forgiven much" and "forgiven little"?awareness.it's the awareness of desperation that separates these groups. we're all desperate. we desperately need Jesus to help us be what we were born to be: alive. Some people are aware, or more aware, of this desperation; and some people are unaware, or, less aware.Some people really think they are well. They think they're performance has achieved for them a certain status. They think good behavior has earned them a good relationship with God. Now, that is sick. You know how my kids earned my love? They were born.Then, there are some people who know how messed up they are. Perhaps their brand of "messed up" is more overt in our society. Their need is so obvious to themselves and everyone around them. They have very real, vibrant reminders that they will not make it through the next day unless God...Again, such is the case for us all. None of us will make it through the next day unless God. All of us are bent on life-killing behaviors whether its shooting heroin or believing that our wardrobe contributes to our righteousness. Truth is, none of us will walk in abundant life, unless God. We're desperate. It's just that some know it, and some don't.I was in a room full of people who know how desperate they are. I was honored and privileged to be there. I felt i was in the presence of the royalty of heaven. I felt i was finally somewhere that Jesus was comfortable to hang out. All of that pooled awareness of desperation was ignited in a glorious flame of worship.I just learned yesterday about an event happening right here in Charlotte aimed at reaching people struggling with addictions. It's called Invasion. They will need a ton of help. Check it out here: http://cityinvasions.com/

VOTE FOR ME TO PLAY AT LIFEST!!!

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Hi! I’ve entered the LIFEST New Talent search! LIFEST is a huge Christian music festival held in Wisconsin every summer. Some friends encouraged me to play there, so i’m giving it a go!You can help me get a chance to play at LIFEST by voting for me!You can vote once per day with each of your valid email addresses.Just follow the link, fill out the short form and select “ryan i”Posting a link and encouraging your friends to vote will also help!Voting ends on May 1st. Only 8 artists will be selected. The more votes i get the better chance i have to play at LIFEST. So, remember, you can vote once every day with EACH of your valid email addresses!Here’s where you can vote. Thanks so much!!!http://www.sonicbids.com/voting/Default.aspx?p=432

all the will

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500

"...[God] raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I HAVE FOUND DAVID the son of Jesse, A MAN AFTER MY HEART, who will do all My will.’" Acts 13:22Ok, opinion time. I don't think this verse would say "all" if "some" was not a possibility. In other words, i think it is possible to do some of God's will. The Holy Spirit here draws attention to the fact that this man, David, would do all of God's will.Does this mean that everything David did was the will of God?Does this mean that David did absolutely everything that fits into the general category of "God's Will"?I think the answers to these questions are evident.The implication is that David would fulfill all of God's will for David. This leads me to believe that God has specific desires for each person's life. I also believe that God has specific desires for specific moments in our lives.When i prepare for a "special" moment spent with God's people, I ask that all of His desires for that time would be fulfilled. It is such a joy to witness the desires of God being fulfilled in a given moment. To see even ONE desire of God come to fruition is so satisfying. It is not unusual nor disturbing for me to come away from a gathering sensing that there were some things that God still wanted to do. I rejoice in the things He accomplished and i pray for the continued fulfillment of what He had planned for that time. It's actually quite unusual for me to feel like all of the will of God was accomplished during a gathering! I mean, there are a lot of factors! A lot of people making a lot of choices. And besides, i'm not the judge who decides whether God's will was done or not.I think God is very secure, very confident. He is not threatened or discouraged if some of His desires are not fulfilled in a given moment. He has chosen to work with people and to offer them the opportunity to participate or not on many levels. He is also patient and sure of His abilities to work all things together and ultimately accomplish His desire; which will in turn satisfy every heart.All this was my lead in to March 9 and 10.We were invited to share in music and message for the "Vulnerable in Prayer" Conference, at Vineyard Community Church in Grafton, WI. My friend Mike and i worked with the leadership to customize this conference to address the specific needs of the congregation and to partner with the things God is already doing there. We had two sessions with worship, teaching and prayer response. Our goal was to become more vulnerable with God and with one another in prayer. On Friday night, we had a time of worship, peeling back the layers on our hearts. I spoke about God's covenant with Abraham. God invited us to walk before Him, facing Him, open and able to discuss everything with Him. I mentioned David, a man after God's own heart, who was able to say, "Why have You forsaken me?" followed by, "Yet, You are Holy..."We were challenged to open up all areas of our hearts to God and to tell Him how we really feel, since He really knows already.We continued to worship and God just ministered to us powerfully.The next morning we discussed being vulnerable with each other in prayer. It can be so hard to share our needs, and sometimes harder to share our desires. We don't need anymore critics and discouragers these days. We need agreers. We need people who will pray that every desire for goodness will be fulfilled in our lives. And then... it happened. We went back into a time of worship through music and people were invited to come and share needs and desires with one another in prayer. I admit, i kinda expected no one to say anything. I was wrong. One after another, people came and shared deep needs and desires and welcomed others to pray for them. It was so powerful. People came around each other and ministered encouragement. They rooted each other on in prayer. The team and i just provided the sound track.I walked away from those two days feeling like all the will of God was accomplished.It was such an unfamiliar feeling. I really couldn't imagine it being any better. The crowd was not huge. Nothing really flashy happened. It just seemed that God was smiling a big satisfied smile over that time and He had fulfilled all of His will.

reflection, Part 2: "This is gross! Taste it!"

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0500

We are compelled to share our experiences with others."You have GOT to see this movie!" "I had the BEST pizza; you HAVE to try it!"Even negative experiences, "Oh, this is DISGUSTING! Taste it!" I love when people love what i love.I love Wisconsin, so i was very excited to share it with my friends; but, i tried to keep my affections under wraps because, well... it's Wisconsin. America's dairy land, the Land-o-lakes. It's beautiful, but it's not New York City, or Paris, or LA; it's Wisconsin! Who knows if others will appreciate it the way i do. So, i decided to let the sights, the places and people speak for themselves; quietly hoping that my team would fall in love with WI the way i have.After 16 hours of driving, we landed in Grafton, WI at the home of my dear friends Mike & Laura. They live in the woods. When i turn down their street, my soul sighs and settles in to the peace.My friend Mike didn't have brothers growing up, so he adopted me as his brother. He has really treated me that way. He looks out for me, prays for me, we confide in one another and we have a great time being together. It was such a joy to see Mike and Laura embrace my friends as if they were family. Conversation and laugther came easy as we enjoyed food and relaxation together. And then there was Dungkin.Dungkin was my dog. I got him as a puppy, rescued by the Humane Society. We were living in WI, and didn't have any kids yet. We took Dungkin to puppy training school, we taught him all kinds of tricks, and general fussed over him quite a bit. When we were preparing to move to SC, our living situations were so uncertain, and pets were often unwelcome. As much as the thought broke our hearts, we prayed we could find the right place for Dungkin. At the same time, Mike & Laura were wanting a dog, but not a puppy. They wanted a dog that was trained, and family friendly. It was a perfect match. Now, Dungkin is with friends who are like family and he can run to his his heart's content through the woods.Well, everyone fell in love with Dungkin. He still freaks out everytime he sees me. Dogs don't forget. He still knows all of his tricks and he is all around awesome.It was so gratifying to watch my team enjoy my friends, my old dog, and this place that means so much to me. I took the guys to see Lake Michigan, and they were blown away at the vastness, the beauty and the surfers (yes, surfers.) We went to Culver's and had a Butter Burger and fried cheese curds together: it was all smiles as we slipped happily into dairy coma. Walking around downtown Grafton, Sheboygan, Milwaukee, West Bend: everyone loved these unique cities.Beyond the places, the foods, the sights, were the people. I've told you about a couple of my friends, but there are so many more amazing people that we spent time with. Again and again, the guys came away saying, "Wow i really like those people!" I would just smile and say, "Me too." It was so satisfying to simply share a place and people that i love with my team. It was so satisfying to watch them fall in love with WI too.

reflection

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0500

my head is still spinning, in the most wonderful way, from our trip to Wisconsin. Even after a week of being home, i am still dizzy, wondering what happened. It was above and beyond what we could have asked or imagined. I shall endeavor to begin to reflect and describe to you the events.Of course it began with the van. It was something i'd been praying privately about for some time. Smashing 4 guys and their gear in the Windstar was getting old! So was the Windstar itself: the road took it's toll. Besides, the Winny just wasn't big enough: we wanted to bring a 5th man, Jonathan, but he just wouldn't fit. I told Jonathan that he could come if we got a bigger vehicle for the trip. He launched into prayer!A friend challenged me to share this need with others and to directly ask for help. I'm comfortable with hinting for help, but directly asking... It seemed like it was God Who was challenging me. People have all kinds of ideas and are often quite happy to share them with me! Not every notion that comes my way strikes me as inspired. This one did. So, i swallowed my discomfort and sent out that email.Within 24 hours we had received the full budget for the van. Within the week we had purchased, insured and registered the van. It was packed, and 5 guys climbed comfortably in, astonished by what God had done to get them there. We began with a profound sense of purpose: God must be serious about this trip.

Look What You Did!

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0600

peopleonahill Look What You Did!
One week ago, i wrote to you and shared our need for a ministry van. I also shared the fact that we were leaving for a ministry trip to Wisconsin in one week. It was a crazy idea, and only crazy people would believe that we could recieve $3,000+ in under 24 hours, purchase a van, insure it, register it and have it road ready within a week.

Thank you for being crazy.

The team and i are overwhelmed with God's affirmation and your support. Not only are driving to WI tomorrow morning in a new van, we are driving with a fresh new conviction that God wants to do this!

This kind of love just makes you laugh like crazy, and run off to share it with someone else. Well, that's what we're doing, together.

Thank you again to all of our friends, family, fans, and supporters. We feel the love. Please continue to pray for us during our travels. We'll be posting more pics on the ryan internicola facebook page as well as some updates on www.peopleonahill.com.

Wisconsin friends, make sure you check out all our tour dates at: http://peopleonahill.bombplates.com//tour

We hope to see you there!

If you would still like to give in support of the trip or the other ministry efforts of peopleonahill, you can do so HERE

Keep doing crazy things for love.

ryan i

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Our mailing address is:
peopleonahill2057 Durand RoadFort Mill, SC 29715

Tori Says, "peopleonahill needs a van!!!"

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Tori says, “peopleonahill needs a van!!!”
Tori says!Tori and her husband, Eric, drove 100 miles to be at our concert last weekend. These two have shown so much encouragement and support for our ministry. We had some time to talk after the show, and i told Tory about our search for a van.

Every time i go on a ministry trip, i take our family minivan. The 1998 Ford Windstar works great for our family of 7, but it is less than ideal as a band-van! Nonetheless, we have packed in 4 grown men, a full drum kit, 3 amplifiers, 7 guitars, and all of our personal luggage and driven thousands of miles to gather with people in life changing experiences of worship! Travel has been... cozy!

almost done packing! Now to pack the people in!

The minivan is my family’s only vehicle and when i take it on trips i have to make special arrangements so that my wife and kids won’t be stranded at home. In addition to being inconvenient, the road has taken it’s toll on the Windstar and we’ve been praying for a designated ministry van. Up till now, we have not been able to get one.

I told Tory about a GREAT LEAD we just got on an excellent van: low mileage, great condition, formerly owned by a church, plenty of space for a ministry team and all our gear... for a very reasonable $3,000. We just don’t have those funds right now.

That’s when Tori said, “Well, have you asked anyone to help you? Have you told the people on your mailing list about your need?”

Now, THAT'S more like it!

I’ve mentioned it here and there, but i haven’t really asked directly.

Tori said, “Well, you need to send out an email and ask everyone to give at least $5. I’ll give the first $100, but not until you send out that email!”

Maybe it was because she drove 100 miles to see our show. Maybe it’s because Tori has been a major encourager, supporter and friend. Or, maybe it’s because she won’t give that $100 until i send out this email! Whatever the reason, i’m sending it out.

Tori’s right: we need a van.

And Tori’s right again: i should share our needs with our fans and supporters.

And, she’s right about another thing: if everyone who receives this message gives $5, we’ll have a van before we leave for our 12 day Wisconsin trip next week.

YOU WANT TO RAISE $3,000 FOR A NEW VAN IN A WEEK??? ARE YOU CRAZY???

Yes, and yes.

What if we don’t make our goal?

Some of the funds will be used to purchase or rent a trailer, the rest will be saved for the eventual purchase of a ministry van.

What if we exceed the goal?

Excess funds will be put towards vehicle insurance and travel costs for our Wisconsin trip.

Rewards All gifts made to peopleonahill are tax deductible!

Give any amount and your name will be added to the “Wall of Crazy”, a document honoring all who were crazy enough to believe that we could raise the money to buy a van in a week. The “Wall of Crazy” will eventually reside within our ministry van! (Pictures will be posted on our facebook page.)
Give $5 and we will email you a “Thank you!” video shot during our drive to Wisconsin!
Give $10 and we will email you a PERSONALIZED for you and you ONLY “Thank you!” video shot during our drive to Wisconsin!
Give $20 and we also mail you a vehicle-air-freshener signed by our ministry team! You can hang it in your vehicle, and whenever you see, or smell it, you can remember how you helped us get our van!
Give $50 and we will also mail you a bottle of our all-natural, homemade under-arm deodorant! When traveling in close quarters, it is very important to smell good!
Give $75 and we will also mail you a signed copy of our “Heart Torn Out” and “10.11.12” CDs!
Give $100 and we will also mail you a bag of ryan’s famous home-roasted coffee beans!
Give $200 and we will also write a “song” involving your name and our van. We make a video of us “performing” the “song” and email it to you!
Give $500 and we will also drive our new van to your home and cook you dinner using super secret family recipes! (within a 2hr drive from Charlotte, NC)
-OR-
Give $500 and we will also email you some of the super secret recipes we would have cooked for you had you lived closer, AND a super-secret un-released digital single off our next album! (this single will be released as a promotion for the upcoming album. You will be among the very first to hear it!)
Give $1,000 and we will also drive our new van to your home (or other agreed upon location) for a private performance with you and your guests!
-OR-
Give $1,000 and we will also mail you a custom made snare drum, built by our drummer, Mike Strickler of Avenue custom drums, and signed by our team!
If you buy the van for us (i.e. give $3,000), we’ll name it after you. Seriously.

So, let’s go for it! Let’s be crazy enough to believe we can get a van in a week! Tori’s right, if everyone gives even $5 we will reach our goal!

Will you donate $5 or more right now to help us purchase a ministry van?

GIVE NOW!!!

Be sure to include your mailing address and your choice of rewards so we can send out your goodies!

THANK YOU!!!

ryan internicola
director
peopleonahill.com

January - February 2012 Update

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

outrageous things the bible says: God wants YOU to be glorified! Uh oh.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

You have a personal calling. God is the One Who will make you walk it out successfully. God wants to fulfill every desire you have for goodness so that He will be glorified in you and YOU will be glorified in Him!

The Apostle Paul said it, not me! 2Thessalonians 1:11-12all complaints can be filed with the Holy Spirit.

eye contact

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Have you seen that Disney movie, Tangled? I get to see a lot of children's movies these days, and i really like that one. There's this scene in a viking pub where thieving Flynn Rider brings the naive Rapunzel in hopes of scaring her back to her tower. Plans go awry and the bar full of thugs erupts into a show tune about following their dreams. Kingdom guards burst in to capture Flynn Rider. Vikings distract the guards while helping Flynn and Rapunzel escape. A rotund, hook-handed Viking, with a dream of being a concert pianist, opens a secret door and then he motions to the fugitives with his eyes. The unspoken message is perfectly clear: "Go this way!"I can't help but relate the portly, prosthetic-sporting scoundrel to our very own, dear Holy Spirit.The similarities may not be obvious, so, let us look at these verses from psalm 32“8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;  I will guide you with My eye. 9 Do not be like the horse or like the mule,  Which have no understanding,  Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,  Else they will not come near you.”Can you believe that? Sometimes God guides us not with His voice, not with His nudge, but with His eye!Beasts of burden must be led by bit and bridle, but you are not like that. You are not God’s donkey; though even that would be an honor! You are God’s child, God’s friend. Sometimes i get so confused and caught up in the chaos around and inside me that i feel like i need to be harnessed and muscled into the path of God. I think that’s okay and God graciously guides us even then. But, i think His preferred method of direction is via eye contact!This requires us to maintain consistent eye contact with the Lord.It’s easy to put our heads down and charge forward on the path that God has called us to. There is a time to do precisely that; however, we should be sure to look up and make frequent eye contact with God, lest we miss that subtle signal.How does this shake down practically? Well, God may have given you a vision, a passion, a dream. He has empowered and released you to pursue it. You are taking steps of faith, going after what He has put in your heart. Good! There are many, many small decisions to be made in this pursuit. Just throw a quick upward glance and say, “Hey, is this cool?” If you get the “nod”, that peace in your spirit, move forward. If you get the head-shake “no”, the sense that something is not right, wait, ask which way to go. If you get a “wink”, buckle up, cuz you’re probably in for quite a ride!The point is: maintain constant eye contact with God through prayer, scripture, and observation. He guides us with His eyes even in the minute details of our passionate pursuit. Sometimes He gives a big green-light and it’s just time to speed ahead, pedal to the metal, no sleep till Brooklyn. Even in those times, just check in with a glance. It’s worth it for the simple joy of seeing those beautiful eyes smiling on you.

take a sad song...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

The story of Jacob & Esau makes me sad.I'm sad that these brothers struggled with each other even from the womb. I'm saddened that their father favored one of them and their mother favored the other.I'm saddened that Jacob sought to fulfill his destiny by means of deceit.I'm saddened that Esau did not recognize the responsibility of his privilege, nor the spiritual impact of his natural actions.I'm saddened that their mother connived to ensure her favored son would receive a blessing.I'm saddened that Jacob lied to his father in order to receive it.I'm saddened that a son would even have to lie in order to be blessed by his father.I'm saddened that their father only had one blessing to give, and i'm saddened by Esau's grievous loss.I read this story, closed the book, sat back and thought, "Where's the beauty? Where's the redemption? Where's the grace?"It occurred to me that Esau really wasn't ready for the responsibility of his privilege. Privilege comes with responsibility. The blessing of the first born was to be steward of all the family's resources and "master" of all the family members. A good master is a servant of all. He lays aside his own interests and uses his authority to ensure others are cared for. When i read into the descriptions of Esau, i see a man who is absorbed in his own interests. He's got his hunting hobby, he's got his trophy wives. He expects others to take care of him (think lentil stew.) He doesn't regard the standards of his family or their God (think foreign wives.) I'm even saddened that this bro felt he needed more than one wife. To take such an intimate relationship and divide it up like that. I really don't think this guy was ready to steward all the resources of his family and be the servant leader ensuring everyone was well cared for.At the same time, i don't think Jacob was ready either. Clearly, the guy has smarts, favor, blessing on his life. God has been prospering him, and he knows how to be successful. Surely, these gifts would come in handy when leading a large family. But he's so immature. He thinks he needs to manipulate people and situations in order to fulfill his calling. He's a supplanter, one who strives with men in order to get ahead. Lest we think that God is ok with this, let's remember that Jake gets a name change a little later in the story. His identity is changed from "I win!" to "God wins." There is beauty. There is redemption and there is grace; but, the part of the story i'm stuck on right now is paved with such saddness.Let's pray for the maturity to embrace the responsibility of our privilege.May we recognize the spiritual implications of our natural decisions.And, dear God, change us from an "I win!" identity to a "God wins" one.

i wait too long to tell you stuff

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Maybe it's my perfectionism: i want to present you with this masterpiece of a blog. Perfectionism is close kin with procrastination! So, here's some stuff that's going on: no bells, no whistles.peopleonahill is an official non-profit charity! Woot! I had just sent out my newletter, sadly reporting that we still hadn't received approval and that gifts were not yet deductible. It was then that the letter came and great rejoicing ensued! Now, when you click "donate" you are also clicking "deduction"! I realize that you give because you believe, not so that you'll recieve, but, i am happy that you will now get that perk!i need a band van. for real. too long have i driven my family windstar many thousands of miles on ministry trips leaving my wife and children without a vehicle, (not to mention cramming 4 big men and all their equipment into that thing... ok, so i'm not that big, but the other guys are.) If you have any leads on a van, lemme know. And if you would, send up a request to the Big Guy for me! thanks. i'm taking a team to Wisconsin next month. Suuuuuuuper excited! the schedule is filling up with meaningful appointments to gather, worship, and encourage one another. Prayers appreciated for the team, the families, the vehicle, the funds. Thank you much.This morning Sooz & i read about Jacob redigging the wells. It took a few tries. He dug and hit strife. He dug and hit enmity. He dug and found peace. God made room for him. God brought him out into a broad place, blessed him, prospered him and gave him peace. In conclusion: keep digging!Now, i am going for a walk. My eyes need to breathe, they're choking on computer fumes. Love to you!

ability can be the enemy

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600

it was a really good prayer meeting. those can be rare. this one was without agenda, open, available to the Holy Spirit. There was room to be quiet, to listen and to respond; to voice things in God's presence: some requests, some simply statements. A phrase occurred to me in the silence: ability can be the enemy.it comes as no surprise since this has been on my mind. i am able to do many things; many things that make people happy. However, the things i am able to do are not always the things i am called to do. I've shared on this subject before. I can't get away from it. Why am i so hung up on such things? Because i know i must fight for my life in God every day, relentlessly. It's a given gift, a deal sealed: yes, but, everything of this age seeks to steal the joy of it while i walk this dirt. I hope you're aware of that. It's true for you too.I have observed the behavior of my heart. Granted, my view is skewed. I am handicapped in my ability to evaluate my own inner workings. I have noticed though, that as i engage in things i am able, yet not specifically called to do, my heart withers. It's a slow process. At first, the shrinkage seems minor and perhaps even worth it, because others seem to benefit from my ability. It could be viewed as an honorable self-sacrifice. As my heart continues to shrink so does my joy and desire to serve, my peace and my passion.ability can be the enemy.My friend, unaware of my unspoken thoughts, began to pray and speak aloud over me. He made reference to the temptation of Christ, when the devil came to Him after 40 days of fasting and said,"“If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”Now, was Jesus able to turn dirty rocks into delicious, nutritious bread? You better believe it! He is God, after all. The enemy was surely aware of Christ's ability. What's wrong with acting according to one's ability? Well, nothing, i guess, except that the Father was not calling Jesus to use His ability to turn those rocks into bread at that moment. And Jesus answered and said,"“It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.’”Jesus so clearly states what gives us life and what, therefore, we ought to live on: the word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Father.The word "proceeds" suggests a flowing like a river. What an excellent description of how the Father's word comes to us. The river of His word is always present, always full of fresh, flowing water. Because it is fresh and flowing, it is not the same exact water molecules flowing to us every day. It's not the stagnant pond of God's word, it's the flowing river. I'm not suggesting that His word changes. I am saying that His word has something fresh and specific to say to us every moment. Jesus lives on that word. We live on that word.The Father's word is flowing to me. Day by day He is urging me and counseling me along a certain path. Daily i am presented with opportunities to take just the slightest detour off the path, and walk parallel for awhile, using my abilities to do things that are closely related to the things i know i am called to do. Often these little diversions "help" others, at least in the natural... but, am i walking the Father's path?I've spent a few days in what i can only assume to be the "dead center" of the Father's path for me. The things i have done have been risky, i'm not always sure people will respond favorably, but i gotta say, that fresh bread is addicting. Ultimately, i've observed (in my own imperfect way) that others benefit the most when i am doing precisely what the Father calls me to, rather than what i am simply able to. "Benefit" takes different forms. Sometimes we benefit most from having our bubbles burst. Sometimes we benefit most from being gently comforted. I know i experience both of these regularly as i follow the Father's path. He pops my bubbles, man. And He dries my tears. And my heart is so alive as i walk dead center with Him.i use a lot of "i" statements, i know. it's because i hesitate to presume to speak for you. the only one i really have authority to speak for is myself. If this were all for me i could just write it in a private journal and lock it away at home, but i feel compelled (by the Father) to air my heart in your presence for the chance to encourage you. i pray you are incited to fight for your life in God. i pray you are convinced that the powers of this world want nothing more than to disable you by confining you to your own abilities, robbing you of your rightful bread: the Father's ever flowing word. i pray you would seek center-path today and find the joy of having your heart alive right where you are called to be.